Exploring Divinity

V.N.Mittal

As a child I would sit through the ritual of Yagya (Hom) with my father for more than an hour as a passive participant The Vedic mantras chanted in the yagya, though, appeared musical  to my innocent  ears, yet  were of little interest to me ,then, as  I would  understand  neither their meaning nor their significance. What kept me waiting patiently as a silent witness, was the Halwa (sweets) Prasad distributed after the observance. I failed to understand as to how could one conceive and meditate on something which was formless and not perceptible.

My visits to local temples further added to my dilemma rather than connect me to the Divine. Confusing images of God would conjure up in my adolescent mind. after noticing different deities installed on the altar,  there. The Ram Leela enacted in my small town as an annual feature erected   images and  lasting imprints of  Ram  as God , the Mahabharata  of Lord Krishna , Shiva’s lingam in a local temple that of Lord Shiva and  so on. I was left completely mystified.

As I grew up, my quest became stronger and stronger.  I sincerely looked for answers to end my confusion, whether to worship the deities or offer my prayers to a formless God. Contemplation provoked awakening in me and stimulated my awareness. I was on my way to experience the unfolding of the mystery

A fine morning while sitting in my backyard, my eyes fell on a mango tree and its  branches shooting out  from its stem in all directions like the hands of a damsel dancing with joy. As I was appreciating the beauty of the form, my mind took me beyond the form through the vacant spaces between the branches. The sight of the passing clouds on the blue sky, sent a thrill into me when I found sur-real shapes rising out of the clouds and dismantling into formless again. And yet, the bizarre forms seemed to gather light in the dark dim centre of my mind to appear as real, full of life and blood, I could feel His presence emerging from formless to form and melting into formless again

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Shapes after shapes in all things that He has sculpted flashed upon my inward eye. Did God conceive and pre design them or they just emerged as gifts of His ingenuity to the mankind? The appearance of forms and then their melting into formless motivated me so much that I picked up my chisel and a flat piece of wood lying in my garden to carve out some unknown shape. Soon, I found myself sculpting the wood not knowing or conceiving in advance what would come out of my exercise. And Lo! meaningful form started emerging as I would dig deeper and deeper. Every stroke of the chisel seemed to bare the hidden beauty of the sculpture. A form was evolving from the formless converging into Nirakar again like the melting sculptures in the drifting clouds..

The two episodes made me realize that God is formless but assumes a form that a human mind conceives of. In fact He is beyond form and could be reached both through forms or without form. It is immaterial how one approaches Him, whether through form as a crutch or without form. What is important is to get started and sincerely explore Him with devotion, without reservation of any kind.